How I began cross dress? 如何开始了反串？

<<The love between the photo and the reality>>

Luna koh, the beautiful, lovely girl in the photo. Don't just enjoy her the sweet and cute smiles of hers. Behind every photo, after each shot, it contains sadness and heartbreaking.

Luna is actually a Cosplay/crossdresser female character. Yes, she is a man dressed up as a girl. Not a real girl. Very surprised? Don't make any conclusion yet. Because every (Cosplayer/crossdresser) has their story. Some are for hobby, art. Some are due to earn a living to survive daily their life. Some are because of the natural, physical factors, they are born with no choices. Let's take a look at the story of Luna.

I am the one who Crossdressed/Cosplayed as Luna (inconvenient to disclose my identity). One day I accidentally saw a cosplay video on YouTube. Was shocked, why a man can become such a beautiful girl? In a moment of curiosity and bored. I'm wondering how do I look like if I turn into a girl. I began to learn the knowledge and skill of makeup on the Internet. I started to wear makeup, put on a wig, and put on a dress. Feeling very uncomfortable and disgusting. But the moment I stare in the mirror, I saw a very sweet and cute looking girl. It's totally another person, a lovely girl. I was so shocked. In order to remember and to see the beauty of this girl again, I quickly took a selfie.

As time passed by, I have a feeling of affection for this girl which I cosplayed. In order to see more of her different styles. Cosplay/crossdress had become more often and decided to give her a name as (Luna). I always ask myself, do I like women or men? Am I pervert? The answer is, I'm still a man 100% who like only woman. My feelings for Luna in the photo are getting deeper, yes I'm in love with her. I can only love her through the photo, can't hug her, can't communicate with her, can't hold her hands. Nobody knows how I feel for her. Whenever I transformed into her, I myself does not exist. After removing makeup and back to myself, she does not exist. I can't separate myself into two of us. Each time after photo shooting, my heart broke down. Sit alone in a corner missing her, heartbreaking.

Perhaps for some people will say. I'm self-loving, in narcissism, metamorphosis, and even say hush thing like I am a shemale, crossdresser and a lot of nasty words. I can only tell myself. They don't understand or understand the story behind this, not to blame them. My explanation is very simple. I'm in love, I love her, I don't treat Luna as a girl which I cosplayed as. In my eyes, the Luna I love is a single body, an original, one and the only character I created, a girl who only exists in the photo, a love that I can never be told or have. This kind of love and sadness is too painful. So I decided to end the (Cosplay/Crossdresser). Many people's incomprehension, misunderstanding, and sadness breaking me down.

After some time, encouragements from the fans have change the my path and purposes. I am very grateful for the love and support from those who Like Luna and accepted she is a crossdresser. I will try my best to continue the art of Cosplay/crossdresser as Luna for our fans.

I am a guy, dress up as girl mainly for photoshoot ONLY. I don't dress as girl to go out. I'm 100% into girls and not guys. You can find my older post why I started crossdressing. I don't meet up. Not interested into relationship. I did not go through any breasts implant surgery. My breasts in the photos are using the techniques of capturing lighting and angle.

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《《照片与现实之间的爱》》

Luna 露娜，照片里的这位漂亮妹子。别只光看她笑的甜美，性感和可爱。拍这些照片的背后，每拍完一张后都是带着心酸，狼狈和心碎的心情。

Luna 露娜其实是一个反串(Cosplay/Cross-dress)出来的一个女生。没错，她是男人通过化妆打扮和修图扮的。并不是一位真正的女生。很惊讶吧？先别下定论。因为每个反串者(Cosplayer/Cross-dresser)都有故事的。有的是为了生活，不得已。有的是因为天生，身理的因素，也不是他能选择。接下来就看看 Luna 露娜的故事吧。

这名男子，也就是我本人（不方便公开身份）。有一天无意中在YouTube 看到一段反串视频。被吓了一跳。男的为什么可以变成如此美颜的女生。在一时的好奇心和贪玩。想看看自己变成女生是什么模样。我便开始在网上学了反串的知识。开始上了妆，带上假发，换了女装。感觉很不自在。但是照镜子看见以女生装扮的我。看见的是另一个人，是一位可爱动人的女生。连我都吓了一跳。为了要记下这女生的美貌，便自拍了起来。

不知不觉，我对自己反串出来的这位女生，一见中情了。为了要多看她以不同的穿着的容貌。结果反串已经变成习惯了。于是便给她取了(Luna 露娜)这个名字。我常问自己，我是喜欢女人还是男人？我的心态有转变吗？答案是我还是百分之百喜欢女人的男子汉。

我对照片里的Luna 感情是越来越深，心酸也加重。我只能爱恋照片里的她，无法抱抱她，无法与她沟通，无法和她牵手。对她的感情只能自己知道。每当我化身为她，我本人就不存在。卸妆后，换成她不存在。无法分身的我。每拍完照，卸了妆，都会傻傻的坐在一磅。心酸，心碎的想念着她。

或许对于其他人看来。我是在爱自己，在自恋，变态，甚至说我是人妖，和很多难听的话。我只能对自己说。他们不懂也不理解背后的故事，不能怪他们。我的解释很简单。我爱的是她，我并不把她当成是我本人反串出来的女生。在我眼里，我爱的Luna，是一个独体，一个人物，一个只存在在照片里的女生，一个永远都没有结果的爱。

这种思念和心酸太痛苦了。所以我想结束反串(Cosplay/Cross-dress)。很多人的不谅解和心酸让我觉得累了。

过了一段时间，因为一些好友粉丝的支持下。我很感谢大家对Luna 露娜的喜欢和支持。现在反串为Luna是为了粉丝。我决定了继续反串(Cosplay/Cross-dress) 这门艺术。

我回答这些新好友的问题，回到我都烦了。请自己读看一下的答案。

我是个伪娘。男扮女装为了拍照“而已”。平时是男装打扮。我不与任何人见面已保护身份。我是个100%正常男生只对女生有兴趣。目前对感情，爱情没兴趣。我没有整胸。照片里的胸部都是靠灯光和抓角度的技术效果。